Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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