i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
