And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
