I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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