My first STD was from a foam party
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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