He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
