good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
and you fell through a lawn chair
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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