Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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