okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
