i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This is my gift to your gina
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
