One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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