filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
