I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize