i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
