ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm passing your future prison.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
