Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize