he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
