You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
