I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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