How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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