The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
