so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
