I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
