Will you blow on my dice?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
