She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The air was thick with penises
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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