I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
