then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
