Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
