I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
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