like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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