Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
did you just send me my own nude
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
