I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
