I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
