What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
