Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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