He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize