Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Houston, we have a squirter
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
