were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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