Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
