so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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