i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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