As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
