i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
