i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
