And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
