yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
