I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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