Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
