Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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