How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
