Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
And then he peed in my hair
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