I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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