What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
