did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
