man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
