so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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