I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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