I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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