Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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