That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
as a side note pls kill me
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