Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Randomize
