The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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