Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
