I hate your face
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize