Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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