Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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