so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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