Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
