I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
