I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize