Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
