she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
