ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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