It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
