our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
