K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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