when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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