I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My dick has a subreddit
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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