i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
