why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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