im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
