well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
