Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
