I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
