Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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