i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
